“Hey Grandpa, lookie yonder.”

        Well, Grandpa looked up to where I wuz a pointin’ and exclaimed!

“Hey Grandpa, I’m gonna go on over yonder and see this strange sight.”

“Well Sunny, y’all jess go on ahead and I’ll jess ress here , and wait fur yah.”

“Who is y’all?” I asked.

“I am whut, I am.”

“Yuh mean, jess like Popeye the Sailorman?”

“Yup.”

“Whut chall want?”

“Whale, I’m gonna give y’all sum directions fur everday livin’.”

“Whut fur?” I asked.

“Well, jess stuff fur knowing who I yam, and gettin’ along with all them other folks in the Whirl.”

 “I don’t have nuthin’ tuh write on, jess lemme go on back tuh the house and I’ll ast Grandma iffin’ she has sumpthin’ tuh write on.”

“Naw, that ain’t necessary, I’ll jess use muh fanger an write’m on that Oak Tree over yonder.”

        Then he writ the furst thang:

“Y’all ain’t gonna have any other Gawd, but me. I’m it.”

        Then he writ the second thang.

“Y’all don’t go a carvin’ no idols n’ stuff a lookin’ like nuthin’ on, above, or below the Whirl, or nuthin’ uh swimmin’ in the waters of the Whirl, outta no trees and thangs an thinkin’ that theys some sorta Gawd that y’all shud be a worshipin’.”

        Then he burnt the third thang in the Oak Tree with his fanger.

“Don’t y’all be a cussin’ sumpthin’, or sumbody usin’ my Whollie name, cause I ain’t gonna forget whut y’all said neither.”

        Then he writ the fourth thang.

“Y’all better remember muh Sabbath Day an keep it sepert an differurnt frum all the other six days inna week. Y’all kin work six days uh week iffin’ y’all want tuh, but y’all better keep muh Sabbath Day Holy, cause I created all them animals an stuff an all them fishes in the rivers and the Seas, the Heavens, alla Uni-vers, and the whole wide Whirl in six days and then I took the seventh day off and Aah restud."

“Don’t y’all go a sassin’ yore Maw n’ Paw, an I’ll let y’all hang aroun’ here fur a rail long time.”

“Don’t y’all go uh killin’ nobody.”

“Don’t ch’all go a foolin’ aroun’ with someone else’s sweetheart neither.”

“Don’t ch’all go aroun’ stealin’ nothin’ frum nobody.”

“Y’all better not go aroun’ lyin’ bout nobody, or to nobody, neither.”

(Disclaimer: “Well, I spose if y’alls wife happens to ast: “Hey, Honey, does this outfit make muh butt look big?”  Whale than y’all kud say sumpthin’ nice bout her, jess fur seff preservation.)

“Y’all better not go a hankerin’ after y’alls neighbur's house, neither. Y’all better not go a sniffin’ after his sweetheart neither, nor fetchin’ after his handyman, ner his cookin’ lady, ner his Hoarse, K. O.'s, Pay-ugs, 'Ol Goats, Chackens, Pea-cocks, or any of his other stuff neither. That goes fur y’all wimmin, two. ’Yuh heah?”

        Thay-yun he dun finished all his writtin’ wif his fanger. Thay-yan hay dun tole me.

“Hay, Sun-nee, go onna uh-haidd a-yun fetch muh wuds offin’ they-yut Oak Tree ore yonder a-yun y'all go onna a-haid roun’ the hole, wide, wide, Whirl a-yun tell ever-budy whut Aah jess dun said.”

Whale, aah dun  thunk aah wud, a-yun hair all-um are.
 

        Well, Gran-paw dun  lucked up tuh ware aah wuza pon-tin a-yun dun shout-ed!

“Hey Gran-paw, Alm uh-gonna moe-z yon  ore  yonder  a-yun say they-us stray-nge sot.”

“Whale, Sunny, y’all jess go onna a-haid a-yun owl jess ress, a-yun sat uh spel fur yah.”

“Hey Sunny, take them boots offa yer feet cause y’all are a walkin’ on Holy ground.”  “Take them sox off too.”

        Well, I wuz a purty skeered an wuz filled with wundermunt, cause I didn’t see nobody and this voice wuz a comin’ frum this burnin’ Cactus Bush. I hurried up an dun whut the voice said, because I ain’t never seen nor heard nuthin’ like this before.

“Who is y’all?” I asked.

“I am whut, I am.”

“Yuh mean, jess like Popeye the Sailorman?”

“Yup.”

“Whut chall want?”

“How come.” I asked.

“Well, because alm the Gawd of all of creation, the Gawd of yore Granddad, and the Gawd of all yore Granddads, who ever did live frum the beginnin’ of this here Whirl until the present time.”

“Holy Cow, whut kinda directions do y’all think folks need?”

“Well, jess stuff fur knowing who I am, and getting’ along with all them other folks in the Whirl.”

  “I don’t have nuthin’ tuh write on, jess lemme go on back tuh the house and I’ll ast Grandma iffin’ she has sumpthin’ tuh write on.”

 “Naw, that ain’t necessary, I’ll jess use muh fanger an write’m on that Oak Tree over yonder.”

        Then he writ the furst thang.

“Y’all ain’t gonna have any other Gawd, but me. I’m it.”

        Then he writ the second thang.

“Y’all don’t go a carvin’ no idols n’ stuff a lookin’ like nuthin’ on, above, or below the Whirl, or nuthin’ swimmin’ in the waters of the Whirl, outta no trees and thangs an thinkin’ that theys some sorta Gawd that y’all shud be a worshipin’.”

        Then he burnt the third thang in the Oak Tree with his fanger.

        Then he writ the fourth thang.

“Y’all better remember muh Sabbath Day an keep it sepert an differurnt frum all the other six days inna week. Y’all kin work six days uh week iffin’ y’all want tuh, but y’all better keep muh Sabbath Day Holy, cause I created all them animals an stuff an all them fishes in the rivers and the Seas, the Heavens and the whole wide Whirl in six days and then I took the seventh day off and I rested."

“Don’t y’all go a killin’ nobody.”

“Don’t y’all go a foolin’ aroun’ with someone else’s sweetheart.”

“Don’t y’all go aroun’ stealin’ nothin’ frum nobody.”

“Y’all better not go aroun’ lyin’ bout nobody, or to nobody, neither.”

(Disclaimer: “Well, I spose if y’alls wife happens to ast: “Hey, Honey, does this outfit make muh butt look big?” Than y’all kud say sumpthin’ nice bout her, jess fur seff preservation.)

        Then he dun finished all his writtin’ wif his fanger. Then he tole me.

“Hey, Sunny, go on ahead an fetch muh words offin’ that Oak Tree and go roun’ the whole, wide, Whirl and tell everbody whut I dun said.”

So, I thought I wud, so here they is.

Whale, hay dun all-sew tolt may naw-tuh change nary uh wurd a-yun tuh bay-ust bay shore tuh "kros" alla tees a-yun "dot" alla eyes.

Some of y'all may have noticed that I've listed these "Ten Commandments" twice on this Web Page. It's just habit. They are also listed twice in the Holy Bible.