Talkin' Texan Order Page
Frequently Asked Questions
Question: Why are Your Products priced so low?
Answer: We don't believe in overcharging, or taking a 4 to 5 time mark-up aka "ripping people off."
Please see our Pricing Policy
Question : Do You answer your phone?
Answer: Yes we do. However, unlike K-Mart, we are not open 24/7 - It's more like 8/7, or 8/6, and sometimes 8/5. We also have families, wives and kids who require our tender loving care.
You may reach us normally between the hours of 10 am and 4:30 pm Monday thru Friday Mountain Standard Time. aka "Central Standard Time."
We like to spend time with our families on Saturday and Sundays, but you can usually reach us by Phone, Fax, or E-mail between Noon and 4 pm. Unless one of our wives needs help baiting a hook, or one of our kids has an emergency.
Question: How can I get my stuff?
Answer: We would need to know the exact stuff you want from our listed products.
For example: If you want a watch shipped to you, please let us know the exact watch you want. Please use the code Number.
Question: Can't You guess what I want to order, or do you need an exact description of the item (I, we, us, us guys, us gals, we people) want to you to send?
Answer: Well, once upon a time we really could guess, but the Great Karnak is retired and unfortunately Jay Leno doesn't come close enough with his Jay Walking segment of the program.
Question: How fast can I get my stuff?
Answer: Well, it depends on where you live. If you live around the corner from us, we could probably hand deliver your stuff within a few minutes. If you live in Bangor, Maine it normally takes about 3 days by priority mail, or 3 days via UPS - FedEx etc. If you live overseas your stuff will arrive in 7 to 10 days after you place an order. If you live at the South Pole your stuff may take 3 to 6 months to arrive. If you live at the North Pole your stuff will be there before Christmas Morning.
Question: Will y'all ship overnight?
Answer: Yes, but your shipping charges usually exceed the cost of your purchase. We only recommend this if you happen to own stock, or shares in UPS, Fed Ex, or several of the Major Airlines.
Question: Will y'all ship two day Air?
Answer: Well, sure, but it's your money. Two day Air usually costs 40% to 50% of the cost of your product.
Question: Do You have Free Shipping?
Answer: Yup, we shore do. Free Shipping on any combinations of items totaling over $50.00
Question: How much is shipping if I purchase less than $50.00?
Answer: Normally less than seven dollars. Unless, you want it yesterday. Then we have to add a "magic" fee.
Question: How do I pay for my stuff?
Answer: Well, we accept nearly all forms of payment devised by mankind and a few more suggested by the ladies.
Question: If I want to pay by Credit Card, do I need to give y'all my Credit Card Number?
Answer: Um, well, yes. We do humbly apologize for wanting to know this very personal information, but it actually is quite necessary, because we don't know y'all from Adam, or Eve.
Question: Do I have to tell y'all where I live, or where I want my stuff shipped?
Answer: Yes.
Question: Can I have my stuff by this afternoon, or tomorrow?
Answer: Yes, if you live across the street from us. Unless of course you placed your order last week at this time instead of today.
Question: If I have waited until the very last minute and have forgotten my sweethearts Birthday, Anniversary, Graduation, etc. can y'all say a few magic words and ship to arrive by this afternoon?
Answer: No, but for only $1.00 per shipment we will enclose our standard form letter (Our "magic" fee) stating that you placed your order several weeks ago and due to circumstances beyond your control the item, or items were delayed by a roving band of Gorillas.
We do hope these frequently asked questions and answers have been helpful and informative and will easily and quickly get your stuff to you.
Questions??? Just us
Thanks Y'all