Talkin' Texan

Frequently  asked questions about Doogle

Question: is Doogle good looking?

Answer: Nope. Doogle fell out of an "ugly, stupid tree" and apparently hit every branch on the way down. He was the ugliest child ever born in Texas and had a face that only The Sisters of our Lady of Guadalupe could love. The years have not been kind and Doogle suffers from Chronic Dunlap Disease, wrinkles, and really saggy skin. This is why we don't have any mirrors in our showroom. This is also why he loves long walks in the moonlight, candlelight dinners, candlelight breakfasts, candlelight lunches, and hangs out in dark alleys. He is only at the showroom during power outages.

Question: What kind of Music does Doogle like?

Answer: Doogle loves both kinds of Music. Country and Western. His favorite singers are George Jones, Hank Williams, Hank Williams Junior, John Anderson, Charlie Pride, Waylon Jennings, Joe Diffy, Randy Travis, Dolly Parton, Reba McIntire, Johnny Cash, and Willy Nelson. He occasionally enjoys Yanni, Kitaro, and Andrea Bocelli. Plus The Beatles, Elvis, Roy Orbison, The Eagles, The Rolling Stones, Rod Seger, and what's his name.

Question: How come y'all call your Website Talkin' Texan when y'all are located in Denver, Colorado?

Answer: Well, Doogle is originally from Texas. He done wrote a book about Texas which contain a few of his gun slinging exploits. Yuh see, he was faster than greased lighting and kud sling a gun further than anyone in the county. Whale the she ruff cum a looking fer him wun day and Doogle aka The Alamo Kay yud cum a high tailing up north on till he ran in tuh the out skirts uh Dan ver. He brung nuthin wif him but an ol tored up Ritter shirt, two saddle bags, uh raggedy ol horse, three pair of levis, sixteen silver candelabras, a jar of peanut butter, a sack uh peas, a bag of hush puppies, a pocket knife, a toothpick, some grits, six hard boiled eggs, a bucket of night crawlers, an ol stained stetson hat, a Winchester 30-30, a bandoleer, a box of ammo, two shotgun shells, a comb, toothbrush, some rusty ol pruning shears, a package of Wrigley's chewing gum, half a pack of Camels, a box of chocolates, dental floss, a case of Shiner Bock, some Javalina jerky, a Longhorn Steer, a cane pole, a recipe for Texas Chili, 37 cents in loose pocket change, and an innocent, pure heart with a dream of a better world.

Well, he also had a pin stripped Rolls Royce signed by the original 1923 New York Yankees, pulling a 6 unit horse trailer, a carload of busty blondes, and one tall slinky Redhead named Stella. He also had over $900,000.00 in Krugerrands. Well, when the Kids money ran out he lost it all. The Rolls, the blondes, the Redhead, and shucks they even took his sixteen silver candelabras and his box of chocolates.

Well, the Kid tried to hitch a ride from Denver back to Texas, but he was so dab gum ugly no one would stop, plus he was surrounded by all his stuff. Plus, no one knew whut he was saying, 'cause no one in Colorado spoke Texan. So he just snuck back into Denver in the dark of the night and started writing Talkin' Texan by candlelight in a cold, lonely dark alley.

Sometimes, late at night, when the wind blows cold, the city lays low, and the Mourning Doves are silent, you may be able to hear the Kid's plaintive spine chilling howl echoing from the concrete canyons of Denver

Steeeelllllaaaaa!!!   Steeeelllllaaaaa!!!  

Hey, Hon, y'all come on bay yuck. Pu leaseee

Steeeelllllaaaaa!!!   Steeeelllllaaaaa!!!  

Yep, ugly as he is, The Alamo Kid still loves tall, slinky Redheads.

Question: Does Doogle have a favorite quote?

Answer: Yep. "The rain in Texas falls mostly on my x's"

Question: Does Doogle have a motto?

Answer: Yup. "Each one is my superior, because I can learn from them."

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