Hunters and Hunting  

    Most of us have seen photos of hunters with their freshly killed deer, elk, bear, etc. They usually pose kneeling on the ground with their kill and a big ol smile on their face or they are standing next to their kill while it is hanging off a tree or something. They are a proud lot indeed. Vast improvements have been made in the rifle industry since the "ball and powder" rifles of the 18^th and 19^th century. Today’s rifles are greatly improved from the old Winchester 30-30 that I used as a young lad during my hunting experiences.

    My old scope-less Winchester 30-30 was pretty accurate with a drop of only about 6 inches in a hundred yards. Today’s rifles have this same accuracy within a half a mile and combined with the modern scopes that can calculate wind velocity, time, temperature and humidity really do not offer any game that is being hunted today very much of a fighting chance.

    My thoughts are that with today’s modern rifles just about any ol’ slob can shoot prize-winning game from the comfort of his cabin from half a mile away while watching cable TV and munching on microwave popcorn.

    The most challenging hunting today and one of the best-kept secrets is "Chicken Hunting". Sure, I know that many of you may scoff at the very idea that "Chicken Hunting" is difficult. You may rest assured that it is one of the most difficult hunts in this era and I am most proud of the photos that have been taken of myself with my kills after "Chicken Hunts". There are several chicken heads and stuffed chickens over my mantle and adorning the walls and on the front entrance to my home.

    I’m more into the commercialized "Chicken Hunting" rather that the "mom and pop" variety. Just because the "mom and pop" farmers cannot afford the lost profits that a really good "Chicken Hunter" could inflict upon them. Therefore I usually select a high hill or a tall tree overlooking one of the large chicken farms to do my hunting.

    I hunt at night without the aid of infrared and my trusty old Winchester 30-30 rather than in the daylight hours. It’s just more relaxing at night without all of the noise and traffic and everything. I prefer to hunt from a high hill overlooking the chicken farm versus a tall tree because a hill is more stable than a tree if the conditions happen to be windy.

    Once I have taken my position on the hill overlooking the chicken farm; I select one of the teeny windows high up on the barn and take aim at one of the chickens. I relax and gently squeeze the trigger and "Boom", the chicken is felled. Now, for the difficult part of the hunt. I run as fast as I can down the hill and around the barn to the door and dash inside to claim my prize. I open the door to the cage, grab the chicken and scamper out as fast as I can before the chicken farmer comes racing after me. The chicken farmers are not too happy and they always have a shotgun loaded with buckshot.

    After I have escaped the farmer and avoided his barrage of buckshot I can now return home and view my kill. If the chicken is large, then I have a photo opportunity (You know, wearing my flannel shirt with the fluorescent orange bib, my "eat more chicken" cap, while holding the chicken up by the feet, and a big ol’ grin on my face.) If the chicken is of prize-winning category, then I’ll visit my taxidermist for either stuffing or wall mounting. If the chicken is small, then I’ll just pluck it and roast it and eat it. One of the great things about chicken is that it tastes just like chicken.

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