Talkin' Texan

Frequently Asked Questions About Us

Question: How long have y'all been in business?

Answer: A really, really, long time.

Question: Could y'all, (youse guys), (you), be a little more specific?

Answer: Okay, here goes. During the Crusades our Grandpa set up a little shop on the side of the road where he sold horse tack, armor polish, a lubricating oil to prevent armor from squeaking, (note: it's difficult to sneak up on people if your armor is squeaky.) , Epsom salts, various Oriental Spices, snacks, and cold drinks. Grandpa always said: It's location, location, location, and you gotta be there firstus with the mostest.

Back in 128 B.C. when Rome ruled the known world our Grandpa set up a little shop on the side of the road where he sold leather cleaner, helmet plumes, sandals, an exfoliating cream he called "pretty feet" and B.C. Calendars. Grandpa was a brilliant mathematician and developed a formula for telling time both backwards and forwards. Later on some sneaky, thieving, Horse and Camel Dealer stole this formula from Grandpa and this is why even today, you can buy a good used car with really low mileage.

Right after Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden our Grandpa had a little shop by the side of the road. Eve approached Grandpa with reddened tear filled eyes, her mascara was running and she was distressed that Adam wouldn't love her any more, because she had given Adam some forbidden fruit, her hair was a mess, she had absolutely nothing to wear, all the shoe stores were closed, and she was despondent, because she also felt her breasts were sagging and were no longer perky.

Grandpa had a great deal of compassion for her predicament so he quickly went to work and designed a slinky, skin tight, beautiful designer dress with a plunging neckline, the cutest little open toed, high healed pumps she'd ever seen, a matching purse and a very provocative, lacy, push-up bra. Eve was delighted with her new look and was absolutely thrilled when Grandpa let her charge it. Adam complained about the huge amount of money Eve was spending but was somewhat placated when Grandpa allowed him to make low monthly payments at only 3% interest. Adam lamented that when Eve wore the push-up bra she couldn't do any more push-ups than she could before, but he agreed that she really did look hot.

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