Talkin' Texan
Favorite Colorado Jokes
The Colorado Rockies Baseball Team
Yep, It's really a crying shame, because "Dealing Dan" has done another brilliant job this year bringing together some of the most talented players in the League.
Unfortunately, the Colorado Rockies are owned by a bunch of Meat Packers.
These meatheads seem to understand mixing "fillers" into pure beef and pork will create genuine looking lunchmeat and sausages, but this same formula won't work very well with Professional Baseball Players.
Any similarity between the Colorado Rockies Baseball managers and coaches and the managers and coaches from the Atlanta Braves, New York Yankees, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros, San Francisco Giants, Tampa Bay Devil Rays and The St. Louis Cardinals is pure meat packing illusion.
Clint Hurdle is the former "hitting coach" for the Colorado Rockies and was promoted to manager, because The Colorado Rockies were able to lower their road batting average more than 100 points below their Coors Field batting average.
Genius!
This is the same Clint Hurdle who played for the Kansas City Royals and never hit above a lifetime .243. Gee, and he had such great potential.
This is the same Clint hurdle seen burying his head in his hands when one of his pitchers gives up a home run. Yeah, real inspiring Clint.
It's inspiring to see Joe Torre in this same situation with a complete poker face.
This is the same Clint Hurdle called a genius by the Sports Reporters in the Rocky Mountain Region for going to a four man pitching rotation.
Yeah brilliant, when the Colorado Rockies have two good pitchers and three pitchers who belong in A ball. Gee, seems to me that I remember four man rotations from the 1950's to the 1980's.
To date this "genius" 4 man rotation has resulted in a record of 3 wins and 8 losses.
Unfortunately, a two man rotation is out of the question. If we prayed for that much snow and rain Denver, Colorado would look more like Venice, Italy.
This is the same Clint Hurdle who feels that moving a pitcher with a 15.23 ERA and an 0 and 7 record out of the rotation would be a "knee jerk" reaction. Yeah Clint, just drop down on one knee and keep a "jerk" reaction.
One of our Denver Sports Reporters asked Clint Hurdle why the Colorado Rockies are playing so poorly.
"I'm not in a position to classify what has been our biggest problem" manager Clint Hurdle said.
Gee, I'm still giggling. Hey Clint, I know, I know, our biggest problem is Clint Hurdle.
Colorado Rockies Baseball Fans wonder why our pitchers aren't a little better each year.
Well, it might help if we had a "pitching coach" who wasn't an ex shortstop.
Crud, I've decided that I'll only watch, see, or attend the games when Shaun Estes and Joe Kennedy are pitching. I'll only read the Rocky Mountain News when The Colorado Rockies win a baseball game. I may not be able to catch up on current events until The Denver Broncos season begins. Oops, this team is managed by our other sports genius in town.
Nope, I'm still a Colorado Rockies Baseball Fan. Always have been, always will be.
I'll just have to go for the burn and feel the pain. Sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes they make me cry. The blurry vision from my tear filled eyes seems to dull the many painful losses somewhat.
Yeah, The Colorado Rockies will start winning again as soon as Preston Wilson and Larry Walker are off the disabled list.
Yep, we only have to average 12 to 16 runs per game to get back in the win column again.
The Rockies are now 15 games under 500. We should have last place completely locked up after our road trip to New York and Tampa Bay.
Hey Clint, try the dictionary and see if you know the meaning of "Sacrifice Bunt", or "Suicide squeeze"
The Rockies return home to host Boston. We are very hospitable and Boston should take 2 out of three. The Rockies will then be 20 games below 500.
Gosh, what happened??? The Rockies won two home series in a row.
The Rox hit the road again and this time we are at full strength with Walker and Preston back in the lineup.
Oh Boy! Oh Boy!
Well, we're still road kill.
Whup tee do! two runs against Milwaukee.
Hey Herb, The Brew Crew still rules.
Hey Walk, Welcome Back, Kid!
4 for 5, 3 homers, 5 RBI
Perhaps Jose should be considering a different pitch selection for you.
Three at bats facing Jose and Three Homers.
Well, The Rox are back home and have another "streak" going.
Unfortunately it's in the loss column.
The Denver Rocky Mountain News reported that there were 30 cars broken into yesterday. The owners were furious and reported that in each case, Rockies Tickets were left on their dashboard.
Hurdle says the Rockies are the "hottest" team in baseball. That's a stretch, but it was 92 degrees at game time today.
It's tough being a Rockies Fan. In the bottom of the ninth our tying run, with 2 out, is normally on the bench.
Hey Walk!!! I just got the good news. I'm just plum tickled that you get to play for a contender. I'm really looking forward to seeing you in the playoffs. La Russa is a proven winner.
I'd like to thank you for all the great memories and I know you're gonna create more for Cardinals fans. BIG, BIG, thanks for you buying that seven diamond Little League Ballpark in Thornton, Colorado. My youngest and I were at the dedication and he enjoyed 4 "All Star" seasons at your ballpark. Hey Walk, I think we can play the scoreboard music now and then again you get to the Hall of Fame.
Walk, Colorado and the Rockies are sure gonna miss you. You are the finest definition of class we've ever seen in these parts. I'm hoping I'll see you in the World Series this year and the next. Best Wishes Kid.
Gee, now if we could just get Todd to play First Base for the Yankees......
2006 - Just the names of the players have changed.
2007 - Just the names of the players have changed
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